(Caroline and I at "The Innocent" Premiere)
Did I tell you how long its been since we talked? I know I have really abandoned you and I think that has really affected my writing. I apologize, its been a crazy few months, and I know that isn't an excuse. Its weird I just happend to go online and look for something in this blog that I wanted to just take and I ended up realizing that I am so much better at this blog, writing, less video, so here we are.
There is so much that happend this year starting with that I realized that I have really abandoned the one person I have been dating for about 26 years, and thats myself. So I spent a lot of time with myself. I really got to know a lot about me, which i always though was so silly. Like, why spend time with yourself? Life to short to be by yourself, and you know what? The more I did the more I grew to really love myself.
Throughout the year I really was about to get back to trusting myself, and trusting the people around me. You know what really surprised me though? Caroline, one of my best friends. Its hard to believe that someone I have underestimated has done everything to make my life easier. Challanging, but still there. I have so much to thank her for. Lexi was the othere person that just to this day blows me away with kindness. I am so thankful. Without Caroline, AGA FILMS couldn't have been what it is today.
This year I made three short films, all intertwined into a story of a woman just looking for love called "First Date." While I want to say I took the characters out of thin air, I really took them from myself and my best friends. First Date started with me writing down idea's on the back of an envelope, with a pen about to run out of ink. In the end, I wrote my first production, and by November, My films were shot, and in the editing room.
I feel like I am ready to live by myself. I have yet to do that. I have always lived with someone else, and I think that type of dependence is something that I have held onto forever, and needs to change.
I feel like if i would look back at my life a four years ago, I would has seen my life in defeat, but its not the case today. There is so many beauitiful things that have just came into my life in so many ways. I am here, and fighting, like I always do. I become this stubborn, frustrated individual until the "processing happens" then all of a sudden, I realize where I am and I'm back again.
"Millionaire Man" is taking way longer then I expected. As we speak I am trying to think of ideas to keep it on track.Wish me luck, because I am going to jump right back into it again.
2012 has been fortold as something destructive, but i look at it as a time to grow, to thrive, and a time to love. To love those around you, but also to love youself.
The change of winds are so new and fresh, yet embracing. I look forward to such a challange.
